Sunday, December 02, 2007

Walls of Doubt

Walls of Doubt, originally uploaded by * Honest *.

"I feel one of those rambles coming along. I don’t know if I want it to come out. I don’t know if I want to hear my own thoughts. I have distracted myself for too long, Is it time to face this feeling? To come and face it, and listen to what it tells me…  Yes. Quite simply: I’m frustrated. Frustrated by the ones who take others for granted, and don’t appreciate the preciousness of others and their time. Relationships take years to be built, a realization can make that wall crumble down, and the walls of mistrust rebuild themselves in an instant thicker and harder to penetrate than they were before. The walls suffocate the soul. But it’s a learned protection; compartmentalizing is necessary to survive.

Life has taught me, if you want something known, then speak it, do it or even think it. If not don’t even let yourself know about it. Is that a possibility? Yes, this IS my reality."

-Honest Thoughts

It IS a reality, you know, that you have confronted and analyzed, something true and complete, that only now exists in your imagination, emotion, and feelings. The reason we can call it reality is that it is an outcome, something that exists in a space we no longer can influence, but try to understand with all of our fallible instincts.

There are people like James Taylor who lived under bridges and went on to wow the world. There are others that have disappeared into the depths of time. What was Kurt Cobain's alternate outcome, Morison, Hendrix, Joplin?

Relationships are hard especially looking backward, that is if you are self-conscious (in the sense of "aware" - which you are). Because in un-threading the tangle of causality one often makes mistakes, for example attributing intention on the part of the other party when there was none. Or hanging on to an old sleight and wielding it like a weapon On a global scale this is what fuels war.

Remember “it is what it is” and in most cases cannot be changed - except by completely starting over with a clean slate. This can only be done if both parties are willing to stuff the hurts and humiliation into a box that is put into the attic remembered but unopened. This is hard but possible if you can have the discipline.

When you get to a fork in the road you might want to remember that no matter which fork you take, yes you will miss something -- but you are in charge of the outcome on the road you choose to take.
GOD willing you will be guided

Your wok is of paramount importance – let nothing stand in your way I know what I am talking about. Did I say I love your work and by extension a significant part of you.
Seen in my contacts' photos. (?)

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